Guilt and cigarettes

This afternoon I remembered lying in bed one night in Riga, Latvia in 1997, listening to a local radio station play an eclectic mix of American music, like Gene Kelly's Singing in the Rain followed by Aqua's Barbie Girl. Radio SVA (translation: USA), I believe. They had an interesting jingle I have since forgotten.

For some reason, the thought occurred to me that night how one might go about effectively arguing/convincing someone else as to the truth of an argument. I chose the topic of smoking cigarettes somewhat arbitrarily. And I  somewhat unexpectedly found I had nothing except guilt to present with. As in, "you shouldn't do that."

In a small way, I realized the weakness of blind conformism that evening. Smoking cigarettes causes many long-term health issues. However, judging smokers because they do not conform to one definition of morality simply represents a weak argument.

While guilt (would/could/should) takes into account the "what" we want people to do, it does not take into account the "why" we want them to do it. It poisons relationships and triggers defensiveness.

That is all...just thinking about that this week and wanting to make a note of it, nearly 15 years later....